Getting others to consider you a grown up

In my previous young adulthood years, I noticed myself stuck in the awkward not an adult, but not a child paradigm. As I mentioned yesterday, I am finally beginning to feel like a legitmate grown up, but in the years up to this point, it was a very ambiguous and uncomfortable stage to navigate. I think most young adults, particularly college students can agree, that many times it feels like you are way to young to actually be an adult. In fact, adulthood seems to be an convenience term. For instance, we insist upon being treated like adults and considered for adult priveledges--voting, drinking, dating, making one's own decisions, etc. However, there are times we insist upon maintaining our juvenile rights as well: "I'm too young to pay bills; you can't expect that out of me--I'm just a kid; I shouldn't have to worry about that, that's my parents' job!" How ironic to insist upon the rights of an adult, only to self-proclaim immunity through immaturity.

Anyway, like I said, I am finally easing out of that awkward stage, but as a "career woman," I am now faced with the challenge of getting others to take me seriously as an adult. Fortunately, I have been able to win over most skeptics through my "professional" behavior and competence. But it remains an interesting and often humorous endeavor. I only wonder how my 22 year old sister navigates this challenge and my soon to be dentist sister who is not only a mere 25 year old, but a female in a male dominated profession.

A few days ago I introduced myself to my 50-60 year old male client. He greeted me with a, "So, you think you can help me, huh?" I playfully responded, "I sure hope so!" to which he replied, "I seriously doubt that." Fortunately, by the end of our appointment, he shook my hand and admitted that I was a pleasure and that he was pleasantly surprised by our interaction and anticipated working with me in the future.

One associate told me that she imagined the employer visits I regularly make would be ineffective. She was sure her professional friends who only half listen to me, roll their eyes when I left, and forget everything I said. She recommended I bring a more mature colleague with me as I look like I am 12 years old.

Often my own students are surprised at how young I am. One young man entered my office and exclaimed, "Woah! You are so young!" To which I responded, "Yes, but I have a master's degree in this stuff if that makes you feel better. You are welcome to see one of my colleagues if that makes you more comfortable." We resumed the interaction.

I am always mistaken for a student, which is definitely understandable. I do try to dress appropriately to distinguish myself, but I have still had students ask me if I am a student worker. A puzzling concept that a student would be trusted to advise students in important career decisions.

I admit, there is no doubt I lack years of experience. But as a young person, I am proud of my energy, creativity, and ability to connect with the majority of my clients, who are my peers. Research shows that students learn and react most positively through their peers. Plus, where I am young, I think I am a model to other students as to how one can purposefully pursue their goals and ultimately, a career. I love being young and I do not wish to be older. And while it can be a challenge to gain buy-in from older professionals, it is a challenge I enjoy taking on--to prove someone wrong about their preconceptions. I also wager when I am experienced and their is no challenge to my adulthood, I'll wish I was young again (or at least had my young body again!).

Growing Up

It seems like young people take longer to grow up than ever before. I must say I am grateful it is no longer the norm, or maybe it was the cool thing, to get married at 15 years old. But, at 25 years old, I am only beginning to feel like a grown up, even though I have many of the grown up tasks completed on the big kid checklist.
Married--check
Own my own car--check
Graduated from college and graduate school--check
Working in my career--check
Live with my husband and not in my parent's garage or basement--check
Life insurance--check
Medical insurance--check
Paying back student loans--check
and so on.

So when does one finally feel grown up? I'm sure having a child facilitates that transition very quickly. But for those of us without children, I think I may have figured it out.

I think the body officially becomes an adult at 25 years old. I have conferred with many of my friends and the concensus is that the instant one hits 25, the body instantly changes. Where one could on the day before their 25th birthday eat all the pizza, cake, brownies, and ranch dressing they want and remain trim and tight, as soon as the same person hits 25, they instantly transform into a softened, rounder version of themself--all the while doing the exact same things they were doing for 25years up to that point! It's really an amazing transformation and one that happens so quickly it is simply too late by the time the new adult has even realized it has happened. And where a slim, in-shape person like myself never understood the challenges of diets and weight loss, I express great empathy to all the adults out there and exclaim, while huffing and puffing on the treadmill, "I think I am finally growing up!"

PS--I want to be an inventor

Random thought. How does one become an inventor? I have a great idea but lack the skills to actually create my product. How do people do it?!

To the blogging world--Yes I am still alive!

Blogging boredom, busy-ness, and a blank mind are not a positive combination to maintain a blog following. Sorry.

This new year has brought a few changes with it. Russell resigned as a police officer and is now attending school full-time. He would like to pursue an MSW and work as a therapist. Understandably, especially for someone with a counseling background, it is not very rewarding to punish and cite people every day and he would like to work on the other side--working to teach and proactively prevent problems. I admire that about him and as his greatest strengths lie in his ability to connect and talk to people, I think this is a good fit for him.

He has been going to school/work with me and it is nice to have him to eat lunch with and wave at in the halls. I unexpectedly bumped into him the other day in the halls and even recruited him to help me set up advertisements for my upcoming career fair. I am grateful that we have the opportunity to receive free tuition for at least his bachelor's degree. We joke I'll have to transfer to another university for grad school so we can continue the free ride.

Speaking of school, I applied to the University of Utah to take a few courses to qualify me for the Utah Professional Counselor license. I am currently a counselor, but only licensed in the schools and I think the timing is right to take advantage of the opportunity to expand my skill set and opportunities. And who knows, if both Russell and I get licensed, we can possibly open our own practice together.

Anyway, I received a phone call from the program director last Saturday (I'm not sure why he called me on the weekend) and he seems interested in me and would like to move forward. I am working to figure out what classes I need. Unfortunately, it looks like I need several more credit hours than I expected (around 20), which will possibly be a little harder to manage. Regardless, I am pretty sure I'll still move forward with it. UVU should also help compensate some of the cost, which I am crossing my fingers on as the school is bracing itself for a possible 15% budget cut which could include salary reductions and the reduction of benefits.

Other news, unexciting for probably everyone but me, is that we finally bought some redish/brick colored curtains and pillows for our living room. I have been talking about it for a long time but putting it off until I my own home. I finally figured it is time to make where-ever I live a home instead of procrastinating. Live for today, right? PS--Thank you to anyone who gave me Walmart gift cards for my wedding. I have finally used them.