Gratitude

My neighbor recently announced that she was pregnant with twins. Amazingly, she has a 10 month old and a 2 year old, so I imagine it was quite the news. I just found out today that she lost one of the babies. She made an announcement on Facebook (a fairly positive one about welcoming a new child into their family, but that they lost one of the babies) and I've had mixed emotions reading most of the feedback. Many of the people are simply offering words of congratulations, "I'm so excited for you," and "I can't wait to meet the baby!" I am wondering how she is taking all of this.

I think I would be devastated. But also grateful to still have one baby. I'm not sure I would be very understanding, however, of the people who just ignored the loss of one child and were just "so excited." But I suppose they are probably just trying to be positive and supportive.

(This is me a few days after delivering Roo. I'm pale as a ghost and sooo swollen. I used to be embarrassed about how awful I looked after delivery, but now I see these photos as evidence of the best sacrifice I ever made.)

A friend from high school also just lost her baby at 32 weeks. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. I am so grateful to be a mother and to have a healthy child. I had to have an emergency C-section with Baby Roo because I had HELLP Syndrome. I knew I was sick and I was in the worst pain of my life, but it has only been recently that I have realized how lucky I am to have a healthy baby. And also how lucky I am to be here to raise her. I really could have died.

I've been doing more research on HELLP Syndrome to help me understand what I went through and what the risk might be for subsequent pregnancies. I've learned how incredibly blessed I was to get HELLP Syndrome so late into my pregnancy. So many mothers are forced to deliver their babies due to HELLP at 20 or 30 weeks. Many of those babies do not survive. I thank my Heavenly Father that I got sick at 37-38 weeks. I thank Him that my baby was perfect. And I am so grateful that I was the one who was sick instead of my baby.

I am learning that pregnancy and child birth are not as routine and low-risk as I always thought. A lot of babies do not survive, a lot of mothers get really, really sick, and a lot of families suffer a lot of heartbreak. I pray for peace for those who have not been as fortunate as I and thank my Heavenly Father for His gracious blessings.